Monday, January 07, 2008

I hate cell phones!

AGGRAVATION: A condition of agitated annoyance, usually in response to negative stimuli.

Example of a situation provoking aggravation: Idiots who come into Starbucks and use it as an office without ever buying anything. They talk loud, oblivious to their surroundings, and are obnoxious and cheap. Their insensitivity has been known to lead to fellow patrons grabbing their cell phone out of their hand and throwing it into a frappacino blender, laughing maniacally while it is ground into small bits.

Situational conditions: Unfortunately, the Starbucks employees have been trained to ignore the behavior of people who come into their facility and disrupt the atmosphere even when they do not purchase any items sold in said business. They are not consumers or customers, they just exist to suck out all of the serenity that can exist in a coffeehouse and charge the environment with all of the negative stress of their workplace without actually spending any money or compensating fellow customers for having to put up with their insensitivity.

Toll: Minutes of my life I'll never get back, elevation of blood pressure, loss of concentration, and increasingly pessimistic view of the human condition.

Short-term solution: It is difficult to combat an obnoxiously loud talker. Cold stares do not work. Asking directly for someone to pipe down rarely succeeds in a satisfactory response. A nonviolent solution is made more difficult but the accommodating staff who shrug their shoulders and smile when you point out the obnoxious people who frequent such place, again, without every purchasing an item. Short of leaving the facility, I have found the only solution is to ask that the music volume be increased, use earplugs, and move to the table that is the farthest from the offensive person.

Long-term solution: Work on channeling aggressive impulses into work.