The weather outside is frightful/delightful

Well, I woke up to some beautiful scenery this morning...a thick white blanket of snow covering every inch of the earth with more soft flakes falling down. Kind of like living inside a snow globe.

But our local municipality has been slow in plowing the streets today and I'm not sure if I can even make it to the train station to get to NYC to visit this Korean church. I have one more hour before I need to leave...otherwise, I will venture out and see how far I can get on foot.

Bracing for snow

Ahhh, the snow is coming, finally! We're due for 6-13 inches so there will be a fair share of shoveling. I can hardly wait....it's been more than two months since we got a decent snowfall!

It has crimped my plans somewhat though. The students who signed up for the trip to the Korean church tomorrow all bailed on me, which is allowed as long as they do one of the other field trips this weekend. But I will show up on behalf of the group, no matter how bad the "blizzard" (which is what they're calling it) is because the minister was kind enough to invite us to come and participate in their service. It should be an interesting experience, both getting there and the service itself.

I wish I had something more interesting to write about but it has been a pretty lazy week as I've eased up on the workload to tend to this lingering cold. So, lots of cups of tea and wearing of the bathrobe way past the time I should be dressed. It's the kind of time when you wish, if you are single, that there was someone to take care of you, to fix you soup, insist you lie down, and feel your forehead for fever. Kind of a combined lover-mother, if that isn't too inappropriate. But my family is far, far away and my housemates, while perfectly decent people, have their own lives to lead. So, I will baby myself and not berate myself too badly for having nothing interesting to say today.

Time to go out and forage in the supermarket for food before the storm hits. Then, I can burrow in tonight, listen to Prairie Home Companion (yes, I AM that boring), do some writing, and watch the snow fall. Maybe if I'm inspired by the snow, I return to this blog tonight.

Otherwise, wish me luck slushing through the snow in the city on Sunday.

Blah, blah, blah

I've been wrestling with a cold the past few days and so far, the cold has won. That, plus losing the cat has left me logy (one of my mother's favorite words) and uninspired. No witty thoughts or keen observations or eccentric musings have come to mind so I've basically been shying away from this blog. I mean, we all have our blah-blah days and who wants to read about someone else's?

The only news in my life worth commenting upon is that my class is now taking trips to visit churches in NYC. Last Sunday we went to a Buddhist (BCA) service that was pretty conventional (English language, hymn singing) but was different enough for these primarily Christian students. They seemed to find it interesting which was the whole point of the visit, to get them to "see" church environments with new eyes. We start with the unfamiliar and then they take this keener vision and apply it to their own religious communities.

The people at the church were exceedingly welcoming to us and had fixed a nice meal for us after the service. This Sunday I'll take a different group of students to a Korean church which should be a bit more unusual (all in Korean language) for them to experience. After that, I'll start visiting my student's churches which are spread out throughout the city from Harlem to the Lower East Side.

This should keep me busy as I'm supposed to be doing my own field research at the same time. I have yet to find a church to work with but since there are thousands of churches/temples/synagogues/religious centers in the NYC metro area, it is just a matter of finding a good fit. The variety can be a bit overwhelming though.

I hope that somewhere there is some time during the week to devote to my writing. But it is clear that I'll have to MAKE time for it as there are only 24 hours in a day and right now the schedule seems pretty filled...quite a change from just a month ago!

Oh well, time to take my next dose of Vitamin C and "Emer'gen'C" (tangerine flavor).

I have a soft spot for zealots, pt. 2

As promised, here is Pt. 2 of a collection of random, lesser known comments from Paul. This exercise was explained here: http://spiral-scratch.blogspot.com/2006/01/i-have-soft-spot-for-zealots.html

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Every athlete exercises discipline in everyway. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one. Thus I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing. No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified.

For just as woman came from man, so man is born of woman; but all things are from God.

Love never fails.

At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.

I give thanks to God that I speak in tongues more than any of you, but in the church I would rather speak five words with my mind, so as to instruct others also, than ten thousand words in a tongue...Tongues are a sign not for those who believe but for unbelievers...So if the whole church meets in one place and everyone speaks in tongues and then uninstructed people or unbelievers should come in, will they not say that you are out of your minds?

For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears, not that you might be pained but that you might know the abundant love I have for you.

You are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by all, shown to be a letter of Christ administered by us, written not in ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets that are hearts of flesh.

For if we are out of our minds, it is for God; if we are rational, it is for you.

For if the eagerness is there, it is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have; not that others should have relief while you are burdened, but that as a matter of equality your surplus at the present time should supply their needs, so that their surplus may also supply your needs, that there may be equality.

If only you would put up with a little foolishness from me! Please put up with me!

I am talking like an insane person.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Finally, rejoice. Mend your ways, encourage one another, agree with one another, live in peace and the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss.

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A little postscript: Early this morning, my housemate found that the beloved and bossy Buffy had passed away. She was described in this post: http://spiral-scratch.blogspot.com/2006/01/resilence.html . She had a good 19 years, a pretty old age for a cat and she will be greatly missed in the house.

Lucca, again

I was having a lot of trouble with my blog late yesterday. First, the entire blog disappeared, now it has reappeared but my last post is missing.

All I can imagine is that someone didn't appreciate me linking directly to the picture in my last post which was housed elsewhere on the web.

But let me assure the Internet police, that the picture was taken by my sister-in-law and submitted to this pet website where it was housed and I have the authorization to use it. It is her photo not theirs! The whole thing is ridiculous especially considering how little traffic this blog gets.

Here is the post and photo which I now have linked from a private source...poor Lucca, he prefers to stir up trouble rather than have others fight over him.

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Lucca (February 4, 2006)
My brother and sister-in-law's beloved Golden Retriever Sunny died last year and this New Year Eve's they picked up a new GR whom they named "Lucca".

We always adopted adult dogs from the pound when we were growing up (Mutts-R-Us) so it had been a long, long time since I was around a puppy. It was almost more adorable than I could handle.

Despite the fact he was only halfway up the learning curve on knowing he should be peeing outside and not inside, he was beyond cute, rolling around, playing tug-of-war, doing all of those games that all two month old puppies do but, in this case, it seemed to make him uniquely lovable.

Since I had been OD'ing on solitude over the past four months here in the writing cave, it was all I could do to stop myself from kidnapping him and taking him on the plane when I came back home. This apartment though is no place for an active puppy...nothing breakable, just piles and piles of papers and books he'd have to navigate around and no direct access to the backyard. I just don't think it is fair to keep a dog in a small living space, no matter how often you take them outside for walks.

But I WAS sorely tempted...he was just a bundle of joy covered in fur. Buffy, the 19 year old cat who lives here, leads a sedentary life...she can become like a piece of furniture--one you step over--and she is probably asleep 20 hours of the day. Sweet, but not the best animal companion.

Perhaps when I finish up here and get a full-time teaching job somewhere (hopefully, one that can provide me with enough income to get a house!), I can get myself a passel of animals, old and young...not to replace human company, but just to add more life and love to my living environment. Just another reason to put my nose to the grindstone, finish up, and move on with the next chapter of my life.

A distant good

"For present joys are more to flesh and blood, Than a dull prospect of a distant good." John Dryden

Oh, yes. This sentiment explains much of human behavior. Right now, for example, instead of working on my writing, I am watching "Spirited Away" on TV, a movie I wasn't able to catch in the theaters when it was released (it won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature in 2003). Unfortunately, I tuned in to it midway into the movie but hopefully the Cartoon Network will replay it and I can see the first half.

I'm not sure whether watching a film qualifies as a "joy" but it is a more pleasant alternative to endlessly going through my notes, trying to come with original perspectives on well-worn material. It is indeed part of a long process of attaining a "distant good" and I hope I will persevere because my slow progress on it has been discouraging.

The signs are not good that I will ever finish and yet, I can't give up trying. I've stopped and then returned to my writing many times...it's like a relationship where you keep breaking up and then getting back together with the same person without much movement forward in the relationship. I don't think I'm in any kind of denial...I think I know that I CAN do it and the little willpower I have won't let me give up.

The obstacles are real but I know in my heart that they are not insurmountable. I just can't let myself quit when I get discouraged (which I think is most people's first instinct) and carry on with the dull prospect that one day in the future, I might finish this project and close this chapter of my life.

But, hey, it's Friday night...so, I'll allow myself a present joy and return to work in the morning!

The smell of chalk dust

Today I went into NYC for an organizational meeting for a class I will be helping to teach that starts tomorrow. I'm part of a "teaching team" which is a real euphemism because it's not a democratic, collaborative arrangement and the adjunct instructors make less than 1/10 of what the professor in charge makes. But it sure sounds good, doesn't it?

What I thought was just a morning meeting actually ended up being a talking session that lasted from 10:30 am until 4:30 pm with lunch brought in so we didn't need to (couldn't!) take a break. It is a good thing I'm a low maintenance person because by 1 pm I was ready to leave and by 3 pm, I started checking my watch every 20 minutes. Grumble, grumble. But I need this job and I'm glad to be working again.

I haven't worked since August when my last job ended and I decided to concentrate on my writing. Now I'll have to emerge from my writing cave, take off my working pajamas and dust off the business clothes, and reacquaint myself with a makeup brush. The solitude and unstructured life had turned me into a bit of a hermit...if I'd been a man, I'd have a beard down to my collarbone.

Being a writer (or trying to be one) is a dangerous life for an introvert...it reenforces our isolationist tendencies and leaves too much time for brooding self-reflection. Anxiety has free rein except for those moments in which you manage to corral it and put it back in the closet.

This class, while it will take time away from my work, will get me back out among students (I taught for six years) and walking the streets of the city. There will be a lot of fieldwork--taking students out into NYC neighborhoods, looking at new and historic churches--and that will be the best part of the position. I look forward to getting to know more about areas of NYC that I haven't ventured into before. The adventure starts tomorrow night...